Um… Now what? Beans?

I ran out of letters in the alphabet for my mutant alphabet blog posts. I knew this was coming. I mean, seriously, the alphabet has a finite start and finish, but when I was writing the November blogs, I had just started a new job, and I was a little short on time to think ahead to what would be next.

Hmm…  One pal suggested I just switch alphabets. If I knew another alphabet, that might work. Another suggested I start at A in the dictionary and move forward. That’d be some 300,000 blog topics!

I had an idea to do another Hugo/Nebula comparison, this time taking 5 books from the early years of the award and 5 books from the recent awards, but it’ll take me some time to read 10 novels, so that’s not going to help any time soon.

So, while I sort things out, here is a blast from the past: Masika guest blogging when my blog was on my webpage.

Rebel being funny 002

This is the Avian News Network with an important bulletin…

There’s a new hazard creeping into veggie bowls of unsuspecting parrots everywhere. At first glance, it appears to be a strange, pale green, u-shaped bean, but DO NOT BE DECEIVED! This is no green bean.

This devious object makes a wonderfully satisfying crunch when you sink your beak into it, but that’s just part of its ploy to lure you into a false sense of security. If you continue to chew on this crunchy non-bean, you’ll discover its secret. It’s actually made of strings! These strings have the approximate strength of surgical steel and will defy all efforts to sever them by even the strongest beaks. Worse, these strings run the entire length of the “bean.” They peel out as you attempt to enjoy your snack, so you are then left with one of these green strings hanging from your beak! How totally undignified!

If you find one of these stringy “beans” in your veggie bowl, don’t panic. Even if you’ve fallen prey to their plots before, you can still defend yourself properly. Simply pick up the “bean” with your beak without chomping down then toss it through the grate and onto the trash receptacle below. There, faced with its dismal failure, the “bean” will wither and die, posing no further threat to your avian dignity.

Sooner or later, your human will figure out how treacherous these things are and stop allowing them to sneak into your veggie bowl.

This is Masika D. Greyt reporting for the Avian News Network.

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