As I was getting ready for that Dallas interview last week, I discovered that all my interview-quality dresses have zippers in the back. I can manage that about half the time, but last Friday was not one of those days, and I only managed it by popping my shoulder. Ow.
Today, I went forth into the world to try to scare up a few dresses that don’t have back-facing zippers and don’t need dry cleaning. I got amusing reactions from salesfolks in the clothing stores.
Salesdudette: Can I help you find something?
Me: I’m on the impossible quest, and you may have the answer I seek. I need business-appropriate dresses for scrawny people who don’t like zippers in the back. Like size 0.
Most of them thought that was pretty funny … except for one grouch who apparently was not issued a sense of humor by her manager.
I figured out pretty quickly that I had to specify “business-appropriate” or they’d send me to Juniors, where clothes are designed to neglect the “under” part of the word “underwear.”
In the ladies/misses section of the stores, If you wear Size 6 or higher, you’re in good shape. Those were everywhere. Size 0 or XS is tough to find outside the Juniors area. I think the window decorations are wearing them all.
After touring the entire mall, I ended up with just one dress … and it’ll need a slight alteration to make it fit properly. Not a problem. A few quick stitches and good to go! There were other Size 0s there, but they either required dry cleaning, had a zipper in the back, revealed way too much, or were priced well beyond my budget.
My next stop was also disappointing. I found nothing smaller than a 4, which won’t withstand the pull of gravity.
At the next place, There were no 0s to be had, but I did scare up XS, which is equivalent to Size 2. Most of those had too much room in the top, but I found a skirt that fits if I tuck a shirt into it. Do you think I could find a shirt there that fit? Pfff… Nope. They were all made by The Paul and Barnabas Tent Emporium. Fortunately, although I wanted to match the blue or yellow in the skirt, a plain black or plain white shirt will go with it fine [I have one of each already], and I found a lovely scarf that matched the pale blue in the skirt, so good to go!
At the two places after that, I discovered that my definition of “business-appropriate” is much more strict that some people’s definition of that term… either that, or they’re thinking about a different sort of business. I’d really prefer that the dress’s hem is longer than my fingertips … much longer than my fingertips.
My last stop was the most fruitful. They didn’t carry 0s in the ladies’ section … and 0 in the Juniors had the usual problem. There were XS/2s, though. I did find a calf-length dress and a skirt-and-shirt combo.
In the end, I was victorious! … but it was an all-day adventure.