Book Review: Eden’s Gate

Spoiler-free review

Book: Eden’s Gate – Book 1: The Reborn

edens-gate-image

Author: Edward Brody

Genre: LitRPG-Fantasy

Ratings: (1 = Really needs improvement. 5 = Good stuff!)

  • Plot Development: 5
  • Character Development: 3
  • Dialogue: 2
  • Descriptions: 3
  • Wordsmithing: 1
  • Overall: 3

What Drew Me to THIS Book (Out of all the ones out there…)

A couple weeks ago, I listened to a podcast about a relatively new genre: LitRPG. LitRPG involves a person playing a virtual game of some sort that includes leveling, classes, skills, and so on, like you’d find in the old tabletop role playing games or the more modern computer versions. I was a HUGE gaming freak back when. In fact, people familiar with my writing have probably heard the tale about how Remnant in the Stars originated from a GURPS Space scenario. (No, it’s not LitRPG. No game mechanics in the book). I was also a terrific fan of Ultima, Elder Scrolls, and Might and Magic long before the advent of the online versions.

Well, one of the anthologies I was in recently (Avatars of Web Surfer) includes a couple stories (including one of mine) that take place in a game world with characters playing a game. Hey! Pretty close. In fact, add the gaming mechanics, and it’s THERE. So, I contacted the publisher (Travis Perry of Bear Publications) and asked if he’d heard of it. He listened to the podcast and we approached Avatars’ creator (Andrea Graham) to see if she’d be interested in adding the gaming mechanics. She’s giving it a think.

In the meantime, Travis and I started chatting about turning a couple of my ideas into LitRPG. I have one unpublished book (Bird’s Eye: The Novel in Need of a Better Name) and a few ideas that might work for something as quest-based as LitRPG. We decided to tackle Bird’s Eye and outlined a plan:

  • Become familiar with LitRPG conventions
  • Create the game mechanics
  • Rewrite Bird’s Eye to account for those mechanics.

Okay, so part 1, I needed to learn the conventions. First, I found a Facebook group for LitRPG and joined up and spent some time lurking before I actually dove into conversations. Then I looked at a list of the books they have and picked two. My criteria were pretty simple: one science fiction, one fantasy, stick with 1-shot wonders. I wasn’t sure I was going to like this genre, so I didn’t want to dive into a multiple-book phenomenon. If I like it, I’ll go grab one of the series.

Eden’s Gate: The Reborn says it’s Book 1, which implies a series, but so far, it just has one book, so I snagged that one for the fantasy. The other one I grabbed will appear in a future book review.

Things I Like (It has to be really stinky for there to be absolutely NOTHING to like).

There were some things Edward Brody did well. The plot itself is well-designed. The characters are faced with situations that challenge them physically and mentally. The threat is real, even though the characters in the game regenerate if they die. They make difficult choices and deal with the consequences. I’ve read a LOT of stories in which the characters are so over-powered, no threat is sufficient, and I’ve read a bunch in which the character has zero chance of success without divine intervention. Both are boring. Eden’s Gate has a good balance. Yes, the characters get in over their heads sometimes, but wit, wisdom, equipment, and guts get the job done.

Kudos to Mr. Brody for accomplishing that balance.

Things I Didn’t Like (Everyone has room to improve).

Unfortunately, it’s not all good news.

First, there were major word-smithing issues. In addition to the typical typo sorts of problems, there were places where not-quite-the-right-word was chosen. I understand that the field of LitRPG is pretty small right now and many of the works are translated out of other languages or written by writers whose first language is not English. I don’t know if that’s the case with Mr. Brody.

Second, this is a long way from clean reading. The word choices were often quite foul. This would earn an R-rating by the end of the first chapter on that alone. Similarly, some of the violence and descriptions of gore were a little over-the-top. I really don’t need to see the gore flying on the page to understand that the character just died a horrible death. Finally, there were no sexual encounters on-camera, but the author missed few if any opportunities to describe female characters in terms of their physical endowments, regardless of race or monster status.

3 Specific Ways the Author Could Improve (Hey, I’m a teacher. It’s what I do).

  1. Improve your vocabulary. There are ways to express outrage, anger, pain, aggravation, surprise, shock, horror, and dismay that don’t involve the F-bomb. Not only will you reach a wider audience, but you’ll give your characters depth. I’m not suggesting you have characters sound like Barney the Dinosaur, golly gee willackers; but if every response to a problem involves a word that rhymes with duck, the word loses its uniqueness and its force. If you just have to swear, okay, but keep it for the really severe situations when you’ll get more bang for your buck.
  2. Engage a proofreader or editor. Writers are often their own worst editors. They read what they remember writing, not what’s actually there. As an editor, I saw a number of places where a little polish would have made the work more effective. I know, I know… editors and proofreaders cost money. It looks like you’re self-pub, which is fine, but make sure your product is one of the best out there. Some editors and proofreaders will work on a trade-ya basis if you can’t afford to pay them actual money. You critique theirs. They edit yours. There are also some traditional small presses that might be interested in LitRPG. Sign with them, and you’ll get editorial and cover art for free. (If the publisher wants you to pay for ANYTHING in the publication process, run fast the other way). Your cover looks good. Make sure the content is, too.
  3. Give your characters more development, especially in dialogue. You did a good job of making them different from each other personality-wise, but when they’re talking, all your humans sound like the same guy. Give everyone a quirk or two. Use more dialogue tags that communicate personality and relevant actions. This can be tougher to do in first person, but it’s a worthy goal.

Final Recommendation

This is a tough one. I really liked the way Mr. Brody developed the plot. The challenges got progressively harder as the characters became progressively stronger. The story line itself was compelling. I could even overlook the editorial shenanigans to a point without being ejected from the story.

Unfortunately, I prefer clean reading, so I ended up enjoying it much less than I  might have if there weren’t F-bombs on practically every page and if female character descriptions didn’t include what seemed to be an obligatory comment on their physical endowments.

If that sort of thing doesn’t bug you, then do check out Eden’s Gate: The Reborn.

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3 thoughts on “Book Review: Eden’s Gate

  1. That’s a good and honest review, Cindy. I’m less disturbed by F-bombs since that’s how male gamers speak in the real world, but yeah, the constant dropping diminishes its effect. It also makes a story sound more like a live journal than a novel. As for the lack of editing–that’s a big no-go for me. Since the LitRPG genre is super-young, a lot of folks write stories at the level of fan fiction and just upload it to Amazon without having any editor or proofreader go over it. LitRPG is never going to grow if the authors don’t treat their work professionally.

    But, and this is a big but, I believe the market will sort it out. LitRPG becomes more and more popular, both in sales and author interest, which means the sub-genre will attract more professional writers who write quality fiction, which in returns sparks more competition that needs to up their game. Reminds of Space Opera, which started to become hot about 4-5 years ago. The early indie work had terrible covers, bad storytelling and countless mistakes, but with the rise of the popularity, the work had to become better to compete in the marketplace. Same can happen to LitRPG–hopefully:)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I remember when self-pub fantasy and space opera in particular flooded the market with poorly done “clip art” or sketched covers and grammatical issues that made the grammar teacher part of my brain cringe. Bad overall writing, wow. All /over/ the indie publishing landscape. You’re right that it has been self-correcting. It’s a gradual process, but it does happen.

    I think LitRPG will start gaining ground in a positive direction. Writers from within will gain experience and those from outside the genre will try their hand, bringing in their unique perspectives and expertise.

    Thank you for the comment, Mars.

    Like

  3. […] we will be meta-reviewing Cindy Koepp’s review of Edward Brody’s Eden Gate.  There was some kerfuffle over her review, and I haven’t […]

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